|
Hi,
Right, where do I start? At the beginning I guess! I'm Lyn
and I was born into a Jewish family but although both my
parents were Jewish my dad was and still is an atheist.
My mum wasn't religious but she kept up certain traditions
such as lighting candles on a Friday night and not eating
pork, although she did like, and bought...ham...I often
wonder if she knew that it came from the 'dreaded' pig! My
grandparents were the same, not religious, but kept
certain traditions. Being Jewish isn't just a religion,
it's a culture, and it was more the culture which they all
kept up, except for my dad of course.
When I began school I found that not everyone is Jewish.
In Religious Instruction I learned about Jesus. I'd never
heard of Jesus before. We always celebrated Christmas, but
it was just a time for presents and eating too much, we
didn't celebrate Christ's birthday so I didn't know who he
was. I loved the stories which we were told in class and
was fascinated by them. After the first few lessons I ran
to my grandparents' home knowing they had a bible and was
eager to read more stories. But I had a shock as a Jewish
bible only has the Old Testament in so there were no
lovely stories about this man who healed the sick and did
wondrous things. I asked my Nan where the stories of him
were and she said he wasn't in 'the' bible. I was puzzled
by this but left it at that.
I was only 7 years old but I
wanted to know about Jesus so one Sunday I sneaked into
the local church. I stayed at the back trying to hide in
case I'd be thrown out if they saw me. After that first
visit, I went every week, without my parents knowing. I
was eager to learn about Jesus, and how he rose from the
dead. I then began Sunday school and loved the Holy
pictures given to the children after we'd read a piece
from the bible. But I was confused! Why didn't anyone at
home speak about Jesus? It was around this time that I
began to see odd things. I'd 'imagine' I saw people in my
bedroom at night when I was in bed and I got scared, so
scared I wouldn't go to bed unless someone came in the
bedroom with me and stayed until I was asleep. If I woke
in the night I'd not stay in my room but go into my mum
and dad's room and get into bed with them. I always felt I
wasn’t alone when I was in my bedroom. Everyone around me
thought I was 'highly strung' and had a great imagination.
I eventually left school and started work. Religion-wise I
didn't know what I was. Was I Jewish? Was I a Christian
now I knew about Jesus and believed in him? I was always
confused. A couple of years after I left school I began a
new job working in an office with 2 others. Every time I
asked who had my job before me people clammed up. I
thought she must have done something really bad for them
not to want to speak about her. One of the bosses had died
six months before I began work there and people clammed up
when I asked about him too. One day I was in my office on
my own. My desk was just inside the room and faced a wall.
When people opened the sliding door they would have to
walk past me behind my back. I heard the door slide open,
then close. Nobody spoke but I thought it was probably
Jeff who was always in and out getting files. I've never
been able to type if someone is watching me...I hit all the
wrong keys. I could feel Jeff watching and could even feel
his breath on the back of my neck...he seemed very close.
My fingers were all over the place and I was making one
mistake after another. I stopped and said "Jeff will you
please stop watching me type?" and looked round to where
Jeff was standing behind me. But there was no Jeff. The
room was empty. But I saw a blurry mass in front of me and
it kind of hovered down the room towards the window and
disappeared. I froze on the spot then screamed and ran out
the room and into the office next door. When I'd got over
the shock I told everyone what had happened. As I spoke I
was thinking "They are going to think you’re crazy, don't
tell them any more..." After I relayed what had happened
the supervisor asked me into her office. She said she had
something to tell me.
What she told me didn't frighten me or shock me but it
made me eager to find out more about the life hereafter. I
was told that I was the latest in a long line of girls who
had started work there doing my job in the last six months
and all the others had experienced the same as me, the
door sliding open, nobody being there and the blurry haze.
As this had started just after one of the bosses had died
it was thought it was him coming into the office to check
on the new staff member as he'd been in charge of
personnel. I stayed in that job for a while then moved on.
But after what had happened I began buying the Psychic
News and read books about spiritualism. By this time I'd
met my husband and, being a strict Roman Catholic he kept
telling me that it was devil worship. I'd always been
aware that things happened to me which didn't happen to
others. I'd always known when someone was going to phone
me even though I'd not been told they may do so. Many
times after one of my nephews rang I'd tell my husband I'd
known he was going to ring but he'd say "It's easy for you
to say that after the event." So I began telling him
before he rang, but it was put down to 'coincidence'. But
I knew it was more than that.
On another
occasion, before I was married, my fiancee was staying the
weekend. I was sleeping in the living room on a sofa bed
and gave him my room. (He was living with his sister and
her family at the time and slept on a sofa bed so I wanted
him to sleep in a 'real' bed for a change). Just after I'd turned the light out
and closed my eyes I felt the bedding slipping off me. I
grabbed it and pulled it back, but it slipped again, this
time I opened my eyes as I pulled it back, but as I opened
them I saw a hand pulling the bedding. It was a long slim
hand and the fingernails were quite long. That hand is
imprinted on my brain, I'll never forget it. I looked up
to see who the hand belonged to and saw a man grinning at
me. He had long black curly hair and a dark, bushy
moustache and was wearing clothes and a hat from which
looked like from the era of Guy Fawkes. I screamed but I
think he was more scared than I; he looked horrified when
I screamed and disappeared. My scream woke everyone and
they ran in and I told them what happened. Their reaction
was "Oh no-here she goes again!"
I still didn't know what religion I was. By this time I
was going to Mass regularly at the local Catholic Church
as my fiancee (now husband) is a Catholic and, in 1988, I
became a Roman Catholic myself. But I still didn't feel
that I had found what I was looking for or sure whether I
was looking for anything at all. I was just always
confused. I felt there was something, somewhere but didn't
know what. I carried on buying the Psychic News for years
and I read books by Doris Stokes and Doris Collins and saw
Doris Stokes on stage at the London Palladium three times.
I always felt comfortable when I was reading the books and
when I was in the audience at the Palladium, among many
people who believed in spiritualism. They were like me and
weren't going to make fun of me.
Coming up to recent events, my Soulmate Brian passed away
in July 2004. It was a huge shock as he'd not been ill and
was very healthy. I took his death badly. I'd met him when
I was 12 and he was 11 and we had a special bond. His
initials were B.A.M. so he was nicknamed BamBam-so people
began calling me his Pebbles and that is how I got my
nickname and have had it now for 43 years. BamBam always
said he'd never leave me; he'd always be by my side. He
believed in spirits and life hereafter and was interested
in the same things as me spiritually, even though he was a
regular churchgoer since becoming a Christian in 1988.
Once when he'd said he'd never leave I said "You may not
have any choice" and lifted my eyes up towards 'Heaven'.
He said "I plan on staying here for a very long time, but
if God has other plans and he calls me then I'll have to
go, but that doesn't mean I'll leave you. You'll always
feel me at your side. I'll make sure you know I'm around."
He kept that promise and I have felt him with me ever
since but two things happened as the first anniversary of
his passing approached which changed my life completely
and led me to eventually become what I am today
spiritually.
In January 2004, six months before Brian passed I'd had an
operation for a hysterectomy. I'd put off having it for
ages. I was afraid of being left without natural hormones
as I'd tried HRT and had a bad reaction to it. But I had
to have the op. Brian kept telling me that I should have
it and I'd be better afterwards but I still kept saying
"No". He was pleading with me to have it as he knew it was
for the best so I said "OK, I'll have it, but I'll have it
for YOU, not for me!" So I had it. A few weeks after the
op I felt terrible. It had knocked me for six. I was OK
hormone-wise but was in a lot of pain and very depressed.
One morning he sent me a text asking how I was, I texted
back "I'm terrible and it's all your fault. I didn't want
the op, you did - I had it for you so it's your fault I'm
feeling so bad!" He sent me a text back which gave me a
good kick up the backside. It said "Listen, you had to
have this op for YOU, not for me, now you have to get well
so you can lead a better life. If you're half the woman I
think you are you won't give up. Just like your mum
didn't. You wrote about how brave she was on your website
(referring to her 40+ years living with MS) now show her
and everyone else you are her daughter and fight back for
YOU!" Well, that certainly told me. I listened to what he
said and I got well.
Brian's wife had a battle with cancer before he passed but
was given the all clear just after his funeral. I'd kept
in touch with her but due to one thing or another I didn't
get a chance to ring her and she wasn't the type to pick
up a phone just for a chat, so I didn't now what had been
happening in her life. When Christmas approached I was
going to ring but thought she and her family would be
upset as it was their first without him so left the call.
It got to March and I sent Lynne a birthday card but
thought it was strange how she'd not rung to thank me for
it. A week later I was brushing my teeth one morning when
I suddenly heard his daughter saying "Mum passed away last
night". I didn't know where the voice came from but I
heard it really plainly. I began shaking. I felt very odd
and suddenly very scared. I had to ring Lynne straight
away. I dialled the number and Brian's daughter, who was
married and didn't live there, answered. The first thing
she said was "I’m sorry but I have some bad news, mum
passed away last night". She said it exactly how I'd heard
it in my bathroom five minutes before! I burst into tears
and said I'd ring back. I couldn't believe what happened.
I'd heard Jenny tell me Lynne was dead before I rang!
Lynne had headaches over Christmastime and went to the
hospital and they saw the cancer had returned. She had a
brain tumour. She didn't want more chemotherapy so refused
it. She stayed at home and died ten weeks later, a week
after her 51st birthday but I'd not known any
of that.
The following month, April 2005, three months before
Brian's first anniversary, I was really down. I'd not been
so depressed since he passed. Finding Lynne had now also
gone and how I'd heard the news before I'd phoned shook me
up. I just didn't want to do anything, not even get up in
the morning. I was dreading his anniversary in July. One
day a text message came through to my mobile phone. I
picked it up, looked, and threw it down screaming. The
text said from "BamBam", which was Brian's nickname, and
there on my phone was the text he’d sent me a year before!
I thought it was someone's idea of a bad joke but couldn't
see how. The text didn't have that day's date on it, it
had the very same time and date as the one he'd sent back
in January 2004! I knew it was the same text and date as I
had the text saved on another mobile phone and I'd looked
at it many times just after he passed. It cheered me up
though, getting that text again, as well as scaring me. I rang my phone Network,
which had also been Brian's, and I told the advisor what
had happened and asked how it could happen. The first
answer I got was "If I were you I'd throw the phone down
and run!" lol lol Then the advisor said he'd speak to the
technical staff. They didn't have a clue how I could have
got the same text either. They checked Brian's mobile
number and the number hadn't been used since he had passed
a year before. There was no explanation as to how I
received it again. Later that day the same text came through
again! I rang my Network, thinking if I spoke to a
different advisor I may get another answer to how I'd got
the text. But it was the same - they were stumped. A friend
said that it was Brian making the text come through from
"the other side". She said it as a joke but the more I
thought about it the more it seemed to be the answer. It
seemed that he knew I was feeling low and dreading his
anniversary and he'd somehow managed to get the text sent
to me to give me a kick up the backside to stop feeling
sorry for myself again, be brave about him going and his coming
anniversary. The next day I got the text again 3 times!
The texts kept coming. They made me smile and were
comforting. Some days I'd get one, sometimes 2. Sometimes
I'd not get any for days then along came another. Over the
next couple of months I got 27 texts - all with the same
date on...same time...the date and time of the original sent
by BamBam 7 months before he’d died. The texts cheered me
up and I came out of my depression and I was smiling
again, even laughing. But once I seemed to be laughing the
texts stopped. I guess Brian knew I no longer needed them.
A friend knew I was dreading Brian's anniversary and told
me about an online spiritual Chatroom. She
said it may help with my grief and maybe they could tell
me if he'd sent the texts. I'd not heard of "online
spiritual Chatrooms" before. I checked it out and liked
what I saw, although I was sceptical at first. They held
Circles in the site and I joined them. On the night of
Brian's anniversary he came through with a message. I knew
it was him as nobody else could possibly know about what
he said in the message, only he and I. BamBam and I had
spoken about 'death' many times and we gave each other
words, phrases and silly things which only made sense to
us, which we could use if one of us should pass and then
come back in spirit, so that one would definitely know it
was the other - and he gave these things as proof.
The person he came through to is very special to me now.
He couldn't have chosen a nicer/better person to come
through to. After that first message she help me develop
the psychic gift I had hidden inside. I now know this is
what I'd been searching for all my life. It's always been
with me but I wasn't aware of what it was. I feel my
search for a religion...a way of life...whatever you want
to call it, has ended. During my journey I've found that I
have quite a few spirit guides. Rueben, a Mediterranean
Hassidic Jewish man (I guess he doesn't mind me giving up
being Jewish lol), an Irish guide who plays music to me
with a flute who I've not seen for quite a long time, a
young girl named Tonicha who lived in the mid 1850s in the
USA, an Indian man and his daughter who are always
together - both of whom I've not seen for a while either - and
Thunderbolt, a Native American from the Cherokee tribe, It
is Rueben and Thunderbolt who help me with my work.
Since I began my spiritual path I have learned to read
Tarot and Angel cards and I receive spirit in Open Circles
and when I read my cards. I find that I may start to do a
Tarot reading but then one of my guides, usually Rueben,
takes over and does the reading for me - the readings are,
more often than not, spirit led. When I am doing a reading
online it is like automatic writing - my fingers are taken
over by spirit and I haven't a clue what I'm typing. It's
not till I have finished typing and read it back that I know what I've
actually told the sitter.
So that's the Mediumship part of my life. As for the rest...
I have been married for 32 years, known my husband for 38.
I am a Reiki Master and I also do Martial Arts. I do Tai
Chi, which isn't all very slow waving about of hands...it is
actually the most powerful Martial Art out of them all. I
do the Yang short form and am learning the Long form. I
also do Tai Chi Sword form, Qi Gong (which is done side by
side with Tai Chi as you cannot do Tai Chi without doing
Qi Gong), Tai Chi boxing, Tai Chi hand weapons and
Filipino Kali Stick fighting.
I use crystals a lot and have done for many years and use
them also when meditating and cleansing my Chakras. I also
dabble in Buddhism and also in Taoism which is where Tai
Chi comes from.
I like to listen to music of all different kinds including
Native American, reading, website building, collecting Me
To You ceramic bears and teddy bears, of which I have over
150.
I live in London with my husband, father and our cat
Megamuffin (Meggie for short).
Shaun and I have been going from spiritual site to
spiritual site together for the last few years so it made
sense for us to start our own. Shaun is a brilliant person
who always gives me a good telling off when I need it and
he keeps me in check. He is wise beyond his years and I
don't know what I'd do without him. I think he knows me
better than anyone else...probably the only other person
apart from BamBam to know the 'real' me.
So...that's me! lol
Hugs to all.
Lyn xxxx
|
aka
